I was always waiting around for the Big Other to tell me what to do, to give me a sign. I couldn't tell if I was stupid or not. I went off meat but then bled 15 days out of 30 and had to go back on, rather in, by which I mean the animals went in my mouth and I swallowed. We were 17, and ravenous, and we made the mother cook spaghetti for us at 2 in the morning. This is what comes from organized sport and international travel for teens. Everyone we knew in high school had acquired jobs and houses by 20 ought 10 but that's ok, we still have our looks. Most of them anyway. Easy there, don't force it: you don't want to overthink everything like last time. What the hell do you know about layout, anyhow? It was past midnight when we realized that the sunscreen we had been wearing had sparkles. Our skin shimmering in the reading light. Someone was supposed to talk to us about editing, but we missed the phone meeting, and then he never called back again. The whole time we were pretty sure we wen't the Establishment, but it helps if you know which parties to avoid. Our problems were worse: we were so keen that school didn't know what to do with us.